I've been walking the D/s path for about eight years now, the first seven of which were as a submissive. My submissivenss has all been in real life, rather than ever having taken an online collar.
In my years, I've noticed wide definitions on exactly what the collar means, and sometimes differeing opinions on what a collar means leads to ugly misunderstandings. So, I have polled as many people in the lifestyle as will listen to me, and have come to the following conclusions.
There are three basic collar types: Protective, Training and Ownership.
The Protective collar is one given from a Dom to a submissive that makes them exclusive, but not permanent. This type of collar usually comes with a certain level of freedom to the submissive, and is essentially little more than a high school pin. Essentially, this collar is the 'going steady' of the D/s lifestyle.
The Training collar is one that is given from a Dom to a submissive where the ultimate goal is for both to learn more about their craft. Usually, with this kind of collar, both individuals have a high level of freedom to play and learn with others. In my opinion, it is this collar that many refer to as a 'loose' collar, when denegrating another person's place in the lifestyle.
The Ownership collar is the one that is given from a Dom to a submissive that He intends to keep as His. Generally, it is the submissive that asks for this level of power dynamic, offering all that she/he is to the Dominant. This is what is commonly referred to as the O/one, though so many out there don't respect this collar for what it is. This collar is the wedding ring of the lifestyle, binding the two together in a relationship that SHOULD be seen as permanent, and binding. I think this is the collar that almost everyone thinks they have, or wish they want, but in reality, its one of the other two that they do have, or REALLY want.
Comments?
Thu Dec 13, 2007 6:23 pm